SPOILER WARNING: This article contains information about episodes 1-4 of The Ultimatum: Queer Love.
The Ultimatum: Queer Love premiered on May 24, and it’s time to talk about Vanessa Papa’s flirting, and how it’s impacting the onscreen action. The series has made quite a splash, and features five couples identifying as women or non-binary. The cast members have embarked on a messy journey of love and betrayal. So far, Vanessa is a walking red flag. The striking troublemaker was given an ultimatum by her partner of nearly four years, Xander Boger, who feels ready for marriage. Vanessa is clearly not prepared for that commitment due to her incessant flirting, and obvious excitement over participating in the experiment.
Although bisexual cast members such as Francesca Farago and Kariselle Snow were revealed on Perfect Match season 1, The Ultimatum: Queer Love represents a shift in the world of dating shows, towards inclusivity of differing gender norms and expressions. Netflix has been scrutinized for featuring only cisgender straight couples in their popular dating series, such as Too Hot To Handle and Love Is Blind. Although five couples entered The Ultimatum: Queer Love in episode 1, Vanessa stood out as the season’s first villain.
Vanessa & Xander Are Very Different
Xander’s quiet sweetness and Vanessa’s gregarious extroversion presented a clear yin and yang dynamic. Still, unlike other couples given an ultimatum, Vanessa seemed relieved that she could flirt with other people. The Idina Menzel lookalike couldn’t wait to meet the other contestants and make connections. In contrast, Xander was clearly looking to solidify her relationship with Vanessa, and show her that they could go the distance together. Vanessa was more like a wide-eyed kid in a candy shop.
Vanessa Was Too Excited To Date On The Ultimatum: Queer Love
Immediately upon dating, Vanessa pushed her personality onto each contestant, and almost everyone seemed charmed by her enchanting behavior. Surprisingly, her top two matches were with the already famous Lexi Goldberg and Rae Cheung-Sutton, and her constant flirting seemed to thrill both of them, rather than raising any red flags. As Xander began carefully pursuing a connection with Yoly Rojas, Vanessa was full throttle, and having the time of her life. However, when Vanessa noticed that Xander seemed to be taking the experience more seriously, her attitude surrounding the experiment changed.
Vanessa Shows Her True Colors On The Ultimatum: Queer Love
On a date with Yoly, Xander talked about their desire for sexual intimacy. Their connection was palpable. In a scene that cuts to Vanessa and Lexi seemingly drinking wine in a park, Vanessa mentions that if it wasn’t for her, she thinks Xander would be asexual. In a series of bright red flags that caused Lexi to snap out of her infatuation with the vivacious Vanessa, Vanessa basically admitted that she didn’t think Xander could fall for anyone else. Lexi finally sees Vanessa for who she is… a self-absorbed user who does what she wants at anyone’s expense, even Xander’s. Lexil ditched Vanessa, and chose Yoly’s ex, Mal Wright.
Vanessa’s idea that her partner Xander is asexual aside from her is ridiculous, and seems very narcissistic. In the scene with Yoly, it’s quite clear that Xander’s actually really sensual, but needs a partner with whom they can open up. Vanessa is one of those people who enjoys flirting a lot, and likes drawing attention away from everyone around her. However, she gets jealous when her own partner tries to indulge in the same behavior.
The rest of the cast managed to remain open to making new connections, without jumping headfirst into charming new people. The entire premise of The Ultimatum is tricky. It requires contestants to be available for their new partners, as they remain aware of the fact that they were discussing marriage with their “exes.” Arguably, the fact that The Ultimatum cast members are so open to exploring new relationships proves that none of them are ready for marriage. However, everyone but the giddy Vanessa is respectful.
After Lexi attempted to level with Rae, her former lover dismissed her concern as jealousy, and proceeded to move in with Vanessa. Unfortunately for Rae, she couldn’t see Vanessa’s dark side. They chose to live together after dating for a couple of weeks. It will be interesting to see whether Vanessa can commit to Rae in a way she clearly wasn’t interested in doing with Xander. Hopefully, Xander will see that, regardless of whether they end up with Yoly. Escaping Vanessa and her uncontrollable and selfish flirting on The Ultimatum: Queer Love is the best decision they’ll ever make.
The Ultimatum: Queer Love episodes 1-4 are currently available for streaming on Netflix.
