Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street is a darkly comic crime epic that tells the true story of stockbroker Jordan Belfort’s (Leonardo DiCaprio) rise to power and fall from grace. While the movie opened to positive reviews, it was criticized by some viewers who felt that it glamorized Belfort’s white-collar criminal lifestyle. The film’s sense of humor and accurate depiction of Wall Street antics do make that lifestyle look fun, but it all becomes too much. That’s the message – a life of excess, as the name would suggest, is too much to handle.
The best Wolf of Wall Street quotes do not glamorize but rather satirize a lifestyle of greed. Jordan Belfort is ultimately a fool within his own story, destroying his own life out of little more than self-hatred. The film also perfectly satirizes the culture which enables Jordan’s self-destructive lifestyle, with him endangering the lives of those around him in his relentless pursuit of getting everything that he wants and more. As dark as that premise is, the dialogue in the film still finds ways to make the audience laugh while also making them think.
16 “Nobody Knows If A Stock’s Going Up, Down Or F***ing Sideways, Least Of All Stockbrokers. But We Have To Pretend We Know.”
Mark Hanna
Mark Hanna (Matthew McConaughey) takes Jordan under his wing and is determined to teach him all about the stockbroker game giving him tips and tricks about the job over lunch together. He tells Jordan that the stocks are unpredictable and no one knows exactly what’s going to happen, but stockbrokers have to sell the confidence that they do know what will happen to their clients. This is one of those Wolf of Wall Street quotes that cuts straight to the heart of the issue concerning greed culture, which is that it’s realistically selling nothing.
15 “Risk Is What Keeps Us Young.”
Aunt Emma
Aunt Emma (Joanna Lumley) and Jordan meet at his wedding to Naomi (Margot Robbie) and the two become fast friends and Emma says this line to him. It’s an ironic Wolf of Wall Street quote because Jordan is essentially obsessed with making risky decisions, and it only serves to destroy his mind and body. Aunt Emma also dies not long after saying this, so it’s another example of Wolf of Wall Street dialogue which sounds like sage wisdom at first, but completely falls apart under any scrutiny.
14 “You Can Watch Me, Mock Me, Try To Block Me But You Cannot Stop Me.”
Jordan Belfort
Once Jordan Belfort gets comfortable in his new job he quickly rises up the hierarchy to the top position and everyone he works with aspires to be like him, but there are also people who try to stop his business practices and criminal activity. Jordan has never-ending confidence in himself and becomes completely egotistical thinking that he’s unstoppable. Everyone could probably relate to wanting to be confident in themselves, but maybe not to the extent that Jordan is. Still, his damning overconfidence makes for one catchy Wolf of Wall Street quote.
13 “I Made $49 Million, Which Really P***** Me Off Because It Was Three Shy Of A Million A Week.”
Jordan Belfort
This is one of the first things that Jordan Belfort says in the movie, and it’s one of the best Wolf of Wall Street quotes because it tells the audience everything that they need to know about his personality. Jordan has more money than most people could think what to do with, yet he’s fixated on a relatively trivial detail that wouldn’t really make any difference at all in his life. He simply wants more for the sake of wanting more.
12 “How The F*** Else Are You Supposed To Do This Job? Cocaine And Hookers, My Friend.”
Mark Hanna
This is another Wolf of Wall Street quote that looks like it’s idolizing the selfish and excessive lifestyle of an out-of-control stockbroker on the surface but, when any amount of thought is applied to it, this prospect delivered by Mark Hanna is actually quite depressing. Drug use is often recreational in The Wolf of Wall Street, but the more Jordan indulges in illegal narcotics, the more apparent it becomes that they are a necessity in his life rather than an indulgence that he chooses. Hanna’s way of life leads to loneliness and addiction, but at that point, Jordan, like the audience, can’t quite see it.
11 “If Anyone Here Thinks I’m Superficial Or Materialistic, Go Get A Job At F****** McDonald’s, ‘Cause That’s Where You F****** Belong!”
Jordan Belfort
This is a Wolf of Wall Street quote that perfectly demonstrates how Jordan has a very twisted worldview that’s easy for other people to become captivated by, much like Jordan became captivated by Mark Hanna and his unsustainable lifestyle. Jordan sells the dream of extreme wealth not by asking people to work hard but rather by making hard work the enemy. Much like former mobster Henry Hill in Scorsese’s classic crime film Goodfellas, ordinary life is considered by the protagonist to be the worst fate, but the story shows just how wrong they are.
10 “Then Two More Every Five Minutes After That Until One Of Us Passes The F*** Out.”
Mark Hanna
Mark Hanna has quite the drink order in The Wolf of Wall Street: “Get us two Absolut martinis. You know how I like ‘em, straight up. In seven-and-a-half minutes, you will bring us two more, then two more every five minutes after that, until one of us passes the f*** out.” The fact that it’s one of his best Wolf of Wall Street quotes despite the fact that he’s Jordan’s mentor and gives him his first real advice on being a stockbroker says a lot about what both of them consider the job to really be.
9 “It Was Obscene In The Real World. But Who The F*** Wanted To Live There?”
Jordan Belfort
When Jordan’s dad Max (Rob Reiner) is taking a look at his books, he’s horrified by all his expenses, but Jordan claims it’s all to keep his employees motivated. Max says it’s “obscene” and storms out. In the film’s voiceover, Jordan admits that Max is right, but Jordan is already too far gone into his hedonistic and delusional lifestyle. It’s another Wolf of Wall Street quote that sounds quite amusing at first but is really quite dark after a moment’s thought.
8 “I Choose Rich Every F****** Time.”
Jordan Belfort
Jordan Belfort has an interesting attitude toward money. He wasn’t raised in a rich family. He grew up in a small apartment, raised by two middle-class accountants, but he appears to learn all the wrong lessons from their hard work. He becomes rich by lying to investors and believes that working hard for a steady paycheck is overrated. This Wolf of Wall Street quote shows that while Jordan may be wrongheaded, he is at least honest with the audience.
7 “You Show Me A Pay Stub For $72,000, I Quit My Job Right Now And Work For You.”
Donnie Azoff
Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill) early in the movie as he approaches Jordan Belfort and talks to him about the world of brokerage. He asks him, “How much money you make?” Jordan says, “$70,000 last month.” Instantly, an incredulous Donnie says, “Get the f**k outta here!” Jordan corrects himself: “Well, technically, $72,000 last month.” Then Donnie makes the sweeping declaration, “You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you.” Seconds later, the film cut straight to the outside of the diner, as Donnie speaks to his boss on a payphone. He says, with perfect comedic delivery from Hill, “Hey, Paulie, what’s up? No, everything’s fine. Hey, listen, I quit!” It’s a brilliant introduction to one of the movie’s best characters.
6 “I’ll Tell You What, I’m Never Eating At Benihana Again. I Don’t Care Whose Birthday It Is.”
Donnie Azoff
One of the biggest surprises in The Wolf of Wall Street is that Jordan Belfort was eventually brought down by the CEO of Benihana. Belfort explains the criminal charge that ended his career:
Something about laundering drug money through off-shore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki. You know, the founder of Benihana…Why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of f****** hibachi restaurants to take me down?!
Later, during a visit, Donnie tells Jordan, “I’ll tell you what, I’m never eating at Benihana again. I don’t care whose birthday it is.” It’s one of the few really funny Wolf of Wall Street quotes that doesn’t have a dark edge to it.
5 “I Will Not Die Sober!”
Jordan Belfort
One of the biggest sequences of The Wolf of Wall Street is when Jordan demands that his sailor get his yacht through a storm so that he can deal with a business problem. The bottom deck of the yacht floods, and it seems like they might not make it. Jordan tells Donnie to go downstairs and “get the ‘ludes.” Donnie says, “I can’t go down there! It’s flooded! It’s three feet of water down there!” and then Jordan replies: “I will not die sober! Get those f******’ ‘ludes!” It’s another Wolf of Wall Street quote that’s funny in an absurd kind of way but mostly highlights how far Jordan falls into a lifestyle of depravity and addiction no matter the cost.
4 “Let Me Give You A Little Legal Advice: Shut The F*** Up!”
Patrick Denham
One of the most underrated performances in The Wolf of Wall Street is that of Kyle Chandler as FBI agent Patrick Denham, who brings Belfort to his inevitable downfall. Their first meeting is a largely passive-aggressive conversation on the deck of Belfort’s yacht and as the movie goes on, Chandler’s character becomes increasingly blunt with Belfort. In the end, when he arrests Jordan, he just tells him, “Let me give you a little legal advice: Shut the f*** up!” It’s a hugely satisfying moment to see Belfort get his comeuppance, so this line stands out as one of the best Wolf of Wall Street quotes.
3 “I Want You To Deal With Your Problems By Becoming Rich!”
Jordan Belfort
Jordan Belfort is great at giving motivational speeches to his staff that end up manipulating them into doing his illegal bidding. This Wolf of Wall Street quote from one of Jordan’s biggest and best speeches once again highlights how wealth is viewed as a cure for problems when the events of the film show that it’s really more the cause of them. Jordan of course wants people to deal with their problems by becoming rich, because that’s how he deals with his problems, even though more money only seems to make all of his problems worse.
2 “…I Ain’t Going Nowhere!”
Jordan Belfort
When the FBI tries to oust Jordan Belfort from his own brokerage company, he refuses to go. Instead, he gives an impassioned speech about it:
This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! They’re gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, ‘cause I ain’t going nowhere!
Though this is just another step on Jordan Belfort’s seemingly never-ending path of bad decisions and self-destruction, it’s hard not to be swept up by DiCaprio’s delivery of the final words when he bellows them out to a cheering crowd.
1 “Sell Me This Pen.”
Jordan Belfort
There’s an interesting story about where this The Wolf of Wall Street quote came from. On the way to the set to film the Diner scene, the cop who was assigned to guard Leonardo DiCaprio told him that he was once interviewed for a job by the real Jordan Belfort. During the interview, Belfort handed him a pen and said, “Sell me this pen.” So, DiCaprio incorporated it into the scene.
The idea worked so well that it was brought back in the movie’s final moments at a conference hosted by Belfort, and it works perfectly as the movie’s mantra as Jordan’s success is based around the idea of selling rather than selling anything of actual value.
