This idea came up in an exchange between me and Genevieve a few weeks back and I think it is really good and fun. Who wouldn’t like to see SRK as a rich doofus turned handyman?
Overboard
The original should not be delightful, and yet it is somehow. Rich spoiled woman fights with a local carpenter and throws his tools overboard, costing him thousands of dollars. She then falls overboard from her yacht and ends up in a local hospital with amnesia and no one claiming her. The carpenter recognizes her and lies that she is his wife, planning to take her home to help take care of his wild children until she has “worked off” the cost of his tools. It sounds horrible, but it’s charming! Couple of things that make it work, most importantly the carpenter does not even consider thinking of her sexually. Doesn’t so much as kiss her until she’s been there a long time and they’ve started to fall in love. Second, the carpenter knows her family hasn’t claimed her and is under the impression her money comes from her husband, so she is a penniless abandoned wife stuck at a hospital, he can give her a “normal” life until she regains her memory. Once her husband shows up pretending he has been looking for her, the carpenter immediately steps back and doesn’t try to stop her. Until of course there’s a big romantic chase after her because he has decided Love will conquer All. Plus, of course, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel have fabulous chemistry, and both really throw themselves into the comic aspects.
Wouldn’t this be great for Juhi-Shahrukh???? They have such perfect comic chemistry, and I love love love the idea of Juhi being an average housewife and SRK being a humorous useless millionaire who she tricks.
Oh oh! And Sush can be SRK’s wife. Sush hires Juhi to come in and make curtains at their “farmhouse”. She introduces SRK as her “cute but dumb” husband who she picked up when he was “trying to act”, giving Juhi the impression that he has no money and Sush has everything. SRK is given the job of supervising the curtains and throws a hissy fit when they aren’t exactly as he pictured them, ripping them down and then grabbing Juhi’s sewing box and throwing it out the window, and refusing to pay her bill or pay her for the supplies she bought.
Juhi is very upset and worried because she can’t afford to take on this debt herself. She’s trying to pay school fees and take care of her 3 wild daughters after her husband ran off on them years ago. She wants to open a boutique in the cute little vacation town downtown and sew her own clothes designs and the money was supposed to go towards that. And then her friend, a nurse at the local hospital, shares with her the story of this man who just showed up with amnesia. Juhi shows a photo from her phone of her clients, and the nurse recognizes the man as SRK and the woman who came to the hospital only to claim she doesn’t know him as Sush. Juhi is shocked, clearly his wife has tired of him and found it easier to claim no knowledge than deal with an injured husband. She feels sorry for the poor man, but her friend (let’s say Sayani Gupta, I always like her) says the man owes her, she’s going to lose the deposit on her shop because of the money he didn’t pay her, she should make him work it off if he has nowhere else to go!
Juhi laughs it off, but young Sayani is naughty and at work the next day announces she thinks she recognizes SRK as the longlost husband of a friend of hers, and the police delivery him to Juhi’s doorstep. Juhi at first doesn’t quite know what to do with this person, but they kids leap in, start calling him “Papa!” Juhi throws him out of the bedroom saying that the doctors said he should sleep on the floor, so he sleeps on a mat in the kitchen. She gives him worn out old clothes and tells him that his skin is irritated by new clothes, so he only wears very very old ones. And then she puts him to work helping her get her shop ready. He’s not good at ANYTHING at first, but she patiently tells him to “lift this” “move that” and at least he is strong.
Slowly, he starts to reveal other aspects of his personality. One of the girls asks him to read aloud and he starts telling them wonderful stories, bedtime becomes a time for him to do a whole performance that the whole family (including Juhi) enjoys. He finds the middle girl crying and learns it is because all the other girls in class get to go to classical dance classes and she doesn’t. So he teaches her filmi style dancing and she shows up all her friends. And he has good ideas for the story, makes suggestions about how it should be laid out and the name for it and all kinds of things. And he and Juhi start having “moments” when their hands meet and things. The girls notice and tell Juhi they want him to be their “real” Papa and she tries to explain that he is just “visiting” and someday he will go back to his real life. But maybe she will ask him if he wants to stay…. The girls trick them into having a night home alone, set up a candlelight dinner (pizza they ordered) and set up sleepovers for themselves. Shahrukh and Juhi agree that they should at least “pretend” to have a date so the girls won’t be disappointed, and of course they end up talking and laughing and dancing and kissing and then going to bed together. The next morning is the grand opening of the store and everything is seemingly perfect. SRK is the perfect host and supportive partner, Juhi is glowing with her success, the oldest girl asks SRK if he wants to stay with their family forever and ever and never leave again, and he says he does.
Meanwhile, Kirron Kher is Shahrukh’s indulgent mother. She spoiled him and never made him do anything for himself and indulged every whim, but she also loves him a lot. Sush is enjoying being with her younger boyfriend without needing to hide it from Kirron and SRK and doesn’t want SRK it ever come back. But Kirron keeps obsessively hunting and nagging and won’t let it go. And then Kirron sees a post online about the store opening and recognizes SRK. She hires a helicopter and drags Sush along (who has to pretend to be thrilled) and by the time Juhi and SRK and the girls return home after their lovely day, a helicopter lands in their yard. Kirron and Sush come out and SRK casually says “Hello mother, hello Sush, just let me put the girls to bed and I’ll come talk to you”. And then catches himself and goes “Oh! I remember who I am!” Juhi starts to say something, but before she can Sush rushes in and grabs and kisses SRK and declares how much she loves him and has missed him and pulls him on to the helicopter before SRK can say anything to Juhi or try to put any of it together.
SRK is back in his mansion with his hobbies, but is miserable. He finds himself spending time with the garage workers and yard men, wants to help them do their work and get his hands dirty. He believes Juhi was just using him and keeping him from his real life, but also misses her and the girls. Kirron notices how sad he is and decides she needs to learn more about what happened while he was gone. She tracks down the hospital and calls for more information and, luckily, Sayani overhears the call! She manages to get hold of the phone and tells Kirron EVERYTHING, including that Sush came and refused to recognize SRK and that Juhi “rescued” him thinking no one else wanted him.
Kirron decides to take a hand! She announces to Sush and SRK that they are going to have a vow renewal, to celebrate their reunion. And she knows just the right person to make Sush’s new wedding sari. She sends Juhi the measurements and commissions her to do it. Juhi is heartbroken and cries the whole time she is sewing it, making the wedding sari for the marriage of the man she loves. But she does it because she needs the money and she wants SRK to be happy. Only thing is, Kirron insists that it is hand delivered to their Farmhouse where she is hosting the wedding. Juhi shows up, is rushed throw to the bridal chamber, Kirron imperiously declares she needs to see the dress on someone before she will pay for it and it might as well be Juhi. Juhi, crying, puts the dress on. Meanwhile, in the other room, SRK is pacing and waiting and demanding to see Kirron. She rushes in to him and he tells her he can’t do it, he never should have married Sush the first time and he can’t do it now, he doesn’t care why Juhi did what she did, he loves her and he loves her children and he wants to go “home”. Kirron talks him down, says it’s only fair to tell Sush this in person, wait a few minutes and she will bring her in. And of course, Kirron goes to the other room and covers Juhi’s face with the veil then brings her in to SRK. To hear SRK explain to “Sush” that he is in love and wants to leave her and go back to Juhi and so on. And then Kirron raises Juhi’s veil and quietly slips away. To go tell Sush to get out of her house and take her gigolo with her.
Happy ending, Kirron comes to visit the tiny crazy house and gets dragged into playtime with the girls and loses all her dignity.
Isn’t that nice?
